Jon Barsamian
"I
was born in a small town. My parents live in that same small
town. If I should die in a small town...I'm taking Barsamian
with me." If this seems cruel and unusual to you then you're
not from Lynnfield. Which in turn...seems cruel and unusual
to me. Such is life. No Iron Chef is successful without a well
balanced mix of riff raff to help stir the proverbial pot...so
to speak. Such elements include a treasurer, a vice president
of business development, a web designer, a photographic director,
a sous-chef, a general manager, and, of course, a token Armenian
to drive said Iron Chef to the market. There's a story here...and
I'll get to it in a minute. Allow me to illustrate my point
with a food analogy. If you strip the Iron Chef pantry of all
it's essentials the food would bland. It would lack complexity,
it would bore the palate, and would render the experience as
a whole to be nothing more than ordinary. Perhaps you can see
what direction I'm going in here...because i certainly cannot,
therefore I will quit my jibba-jabba now and launch into said
story. Thank you and Godspeed.
Rewind: Lynnfield Middle School, 6th grade, Iron Chef Louie
is a transfer student, Jon Barsamian is a popular athlete well
networked in with the proper social circle. He makes a pass
at Louie within five minutes. Louie tell him that he is still
to young to be positve but that he is pretty sure that he is
straight. Later they meet up at Lesser Park to play basketball.
Jon grinds up on Louie everytime he tries for a shot. Louie
beat him with an open hand until he runs crying. They've been
best friends ever since. Louie beat the gay right out of him
(allegedly).
More recently: Jon graduated from St. John's (all boys) Prep
School in Danvers. After several bouts with a rare foot disease
he was able to land a spot on the UMass Division 1 Track squad.
It was here at UMass that Jon discovered the wonders of alcohol
and social interaction. It was here, at UMass, that Jon made
a life decision. He chose to ignore the risks of cooties and
start playing for the home team.
Back home a young man was working in his first professional
kitchen. The young, would be, Iron Chef was burning it up at
a specialty food store in Cambridge called Barsamian's. From
this point on the young chef and Jon would go through the fire
together. Jon Barsamian has been along for the ride longer than
any existing member of the "players" group. What he
has delivered to the table then, now, and in the days to come
is simply immeasurable. How do you calculate a lifetime of loyalty,
tolerance, and unconditional friendship. Iron Chef is about
people...true. Iron Chef is about food...true. Iron Chef is
about over coming social obstacles...sure. Iron Chef is about
beirut...definately. Iron Chef is about passion...Amen. If you
put the mythical gun to my head and tell me I have to choose
I'd have to say Jon is our unsung hero.
At the end of the day he makes us laugh...not really intentionally.
But beyond the obvious heroics is (now here's the best sales
pitch) more professional experience in the world of food and
sales than most players in the league. The man grew up eating,
sleeping, and breathing his father's store. For ten years Barsamian's
in Cambridge sat alone atop the world of specialty markets.
These were the days before Whole Foods saturated the market,
doing their best impression of Starbucks and running out the
independent businessmen of the world. Jon managed and controlled
this business when it was at it's peak and more importantly...when
it was not. Life lessons are often learned over time. What he
experienced yesterday may not show itself until much later,
but it's understanding this that separates the winners from
the losers. We at Iron Chef are lucky to have this luxury at
our fingertips. We are blessed with a token Armenian who knows
what it feels like to lose...you think he's going to let this
ride end any time soon? Neither do we. Iron Chef has an unlimited
shelf life...because of our unsung heroes. Amen.
| 1st place long jump- 1992 |
Armenian Olympics |
| 1st place skeet shooting- 1993 |
Armenian Olympics |
| 1st place uni brow shaving- 1994 |
Armenian Olympics |
| 1st place midget tossing- 1995 |
Armenian Olympics |
| 1st place rubber darts- 1996 |
Special Olympics |
| 1st place boner tag- 1997 |
Pervert Olympics |
